The Prince of Punk Rock Read online

  Jessi had the designer itch again. She needed to construct her own garments. The corset tops were just the beginning. She envisioned a line that not only endorsed Immortal Angel, but the rock and roll lifestyle. Now all she needed was the time.

  Kendall’s annoying voice caught Jessi’s attention. She swore she wasn’t going to let that girl make a mess of the merch table again, but Kendall wasn’t headed toward her. She was making a beeline for Angel. She kept putting her arms around him. He was uncomfortable and kept removing them from around his neck. Angel looked like he was trying to get away from her, but she kept pawing at him. He finally escaped when Damien rescued him and pulled him away.

  Now Kendall was headed toward the merch table. Great. “What’s up with that girl?” Jessi whispered to Alyssa.

  “Not my favorite person. Actually, she’s my least favorite person. I need a drink.”

  Alyssa was gone before Jessi could stop her.

  “I see someone’s been busy.” Kendall eyed the new tops and picked one up.

  “Hello, Kendall. Do you like them?”

  “I do. They’re really cool. I’m very interested in all of them.” Kendall was making a mess again. As Jessi tried to keep the table organized and refold the shirts, Kendall asked dozens of questions. She wanted to know the name of the vendor, how much they cost, how many colors they came in, how many were bought. Jessi was getting a headache.

  “Thanks for the info. I’ll be back later.” Kendall started to walk away, but she still had one of the corset tops tucked under her arm.

  It was practically wedged under her armpit. Jessi would’ve never noticed it if the light didn’t hit one of the silver studs and cast a reflection. “Wait, Kendall. That’s $20 for the corset top.”

  “What top? Oh.” She acted like she just realized it was jammed under her arm.

  “Were you trying to steal that from me?”

  “No. I paid for this already.”

  “No you didn’t.” Jessi cheeks burned with anger. “Don’t try to put one over on me. I’ve been doing this a long time. I’ve had a lot of people try to talk me into giving them a free shirt, but you’re the first person who actually tried to steal from me.”

  “I put the money on the table. Someone else must’ve picked it up.”

  “You were the only one here. You were trying to distract me by making a mess and asking me a million questions.”

  Jessi tried to snatch the top out of Kendall’s hands but she wouldn’t let go. They ended up in a game of tug of war.

  People started to stare.

  Jessi tugged the top toward her. “I made this garment. You’re not taking it without paying for it.”

  Kendall pulled it back in her direction. “You didn’t make this.”

  Jessi yanked on it. “Yes I did. I’m schooled in fashion design. I’m an associate designer.”

  “Liar!”

  A stitch threatened to pop and Jessi’s anger soared. Stealing was one thing, if Kendall mutilated one her garments, she would have a war on her hands.

  The fabric puckered as they each pulled the top in opposite directions. Another tug from Kendall and a seam stretched beyond its limitations. It ripped open with a screeching tear.

  “You fuckin’ bitch!”

  A bouncer stepped between them. “Knock it off ladies before you both get thrown out.”

  Jessi held up the mangled corset top. One side flapped open like a broken wing on a young sparrow. “She tried to steal one of my designs and then she destroyed it. Look at it!”

  The bouncer smirked at Kendall. “I’m getting damn sick of this shit.” He took her by the forearm and led her away.

  It was the beginning of the band’s second set. Now was the time Angel planned to premier the new song he wrote for Tommy. He brought two stools on the stage, and sat down by himself. The crowd quieted down, curious about what was about to happen.

  “Do you guys want to hear some new music?”

  They replied with a resounding, “Hell yeah!”

  “This is a little different than you’re used to, so I hope you like it. It’s a softer side of me that I don’t let a lot of people see. It’s my vulnerable side.”

  Most of the girls in the audience responded with a collective, “Aww.”

  “But, don’t worry, I’m still a hardcore, bad ass, punk rocker and I’m gonna have something new and raunchy for you a little later tonight.”

  The crowd cheered and hollered.

  “This next song is a beautiful, tender ballad. Try to really listen to the lyrics. They’re powerful.” He touched the center of his chest. “And feel it, inside.”

  Angel sat on one of the stools and called Tommy to join him. “We’re going to take it down a little, acoustic style.” Angel was uncharacteristically nervous as they sat alone, center stage. Not only because it was the total opposite of the fast paced beat his fans loved, but because he was going to be singing it directly to Tommy. If all went as planned, everyone would be blown away.

  The room was quiet. The only sound was Angel’s clear, unblemished voice and Tommy’s soft strum on the guitar. Angel looked deeper into Tommy’s eyes with each verse of the song and never looked away. Tommy was captivated and gazed back at him.

  Every word of the overwhelming lyrics were meant for Tommy. With each heartfelt word, Angel realized how much Tommy meant to him and how deep his feelings for Tommy had become. Angel let the raw emotion and vulnerability that the song stirred inside him surface, and tears welled up in his eyes.

  With the last note of the song approaching, Angel slowly leaned closer to Tommy.

  Tommy never averted his eyes.

  When the song was over, they stared at each other. Angel heard the fans cheering in the background, but he blocked them out. He forgot anyone else was in the room. The connection he and Tommy shared was so thick in the air, he could practically taste it. He wanted to kiss the teasing lips that beckoned to him with hunger and desire, but he was afraid it would be awkward on stage. The yearning and lust in Tommy’s eyes said he didn’t care.

  Angel’s tongue moistened his lips, and Tommy’s eyes went to it. He leaned in closer, but Tommy turned his face a quarter of a degree at the last second and the kiss that Angel dreamed about, landed on Tommy’s cheek. He let his lips linger to taste the flesh he longed to consume.

  Tommy put his hand on the back of Angel’s neck and stroked it softly with his fingertips.

  When they parted, Angel smiled tenderly. Longing stared back at him behind Tommy’s eyes, but there was also hesitation and a tiny bit of fear. He was so beautiful under the shadowed lights of the stage. “Eres guapo. Bonito. Deseo besarte.”

  Tommy’s eyes glazed over. “What does that mean?”

  He was afraid to tell Tommy that he was beautiful and that he wanted to kiss him, in English. He couldn’t be sure of Tommy’s reaction, so he said it in Spanish instead.

  “One day, mi amor, soon, I hope to say everything in English so you can understand how I feel.” Before he turned back to the audience, he put his lips to Tommy’s ear. “Quiero ser el amor contigo.” One day he would also be able to tell Tommy, in English, that he wanted to make love to him.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Time alone with Angel, were moments that Tommy treasured. Free from the distraction of the band, they were able to communicate on a personal level. Sometimes, Tommy fantasized that they were a couple, like earlier, when they were having lunch at the Shake Shack at the Fulton Mall, surrounded by strangers who were unconcerned with the dynamic of their relationship.

  Now, on the drive back to Angel’s apartment, Tommy grew uncomfortably quiet. He couldn’t concentrate on anything except the fact that Angel was inches away from him, without anyone else watching.

  Tommy’s imagination ran wild. He stared at Angel’s hand on the stick shift and envisioned it reaching over and taking possession of his inner thigh. He saw himself opening Angel’s pants and going down on him, among the busy traffic on Meeke
r Avenue. He imagined the taste of Angel’s flesh on his tongue and the feel of Angel in his mouth.

  The bulge in his jeans alerted him that his growing erection was about to expose his daydream. He took his shopping bag off the floor of the car, put it on his lap and pretended to inspect his purchases. He glanced over at Angel, and Angel winked back at him. Angel returned his eyes to the road in front of him, and Tommy resumed watching Angel’s hand on the stick shift again.

  “Thanks for taking me shopping.” Tommy rested his shopping bags on the empty stool at the breakfast bar in Angel’s kitchen.

  “Thank you. I need someone to edit me sometimes, or there’s a good chance I’m coming home covered in leopard from head to toe.” Angel smiled at him for several seconds without saying anything. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “Sure. I’m easy. I’ll take whatever you got.” Tommy pursed his lips together. Why did everything out of his mouth sound suggestive whenever he was alone in Angel’s apartment?

  They sat across from one another, quietly sipping a glass of iced tea. They did a lot of staring and smiling, but neither one said much. There were times when they couldn’t stop talking, but when they were alone together they always shared moments like this, when conversation stopped and their powerful gaze portrayed their true feelings.

  It was always Tommy who broke the silence. But, he didn’t know how long he could evade the inevitable. He didn’t know how long Angel was going to wait. And he didn’t know how long he could resist, when their unspoken feelings were screaming out to one another and lust was pulling them together. Nerves and fear made his heart race. He wanted to get up and bolt out the door, before he threw himself into Angel’s arms. But his feet weren’t moving. All he could do was stare back into Angel’s intense dark eyes, peeking out and smiling back at him, through his thick black hair.

  Tommy’s hands began to sweat, and it suddenly got hot in the room. The ice crackled in his glass, like his willpower slowly breaking down and falling to pieces. He needed to do something to change the mood – fast. “You have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen. They’re so dark and striking. It’s hard to look away sometimes.” His heart pounded against his chest. He didn’t know what the fuck he was he saying.

  Angel’s smile blossomed. He walked around the breakfast bar and stood in front of Tommy. He cautiously moved closer, slowly eradicating the distance between them, until they shared the same space.

  Angel cupped Tommy’s face in his hands. “Eres mi vida. Te amo,” he whispered. “Bésame.”

  There was no need for a translation. Body language and the breathy tone of Angel’s voice conveyed his desire.

  Tommy eyes were glued to Angel’s full, slightly parted lips. He couldn’t look away. They held him prisoner. Angel licked his lips and Tommy almost collapsed. One kiss, he told himself. Just one kiss, then he’d stop, but he knew he didn’t possess the power to stop once he tasted Angel’s deliciously inviting mouth. There would be no going back once their lips met. Their bodies would marry and fall to the floor in a tangled mess of passion. They would pull at one another’s clothing and rip them off each other. They would—

  Angel leaned in, with half closed lids.

  Tommy held his breath and braced his hand on Angel’s chest. “I can’t,” he whispered.

  Angel wrinkled his forehead and his eyes saddened. “Why not?”

  A huge lump of emotions blocked his throat and prevented him from speaking.

  “You have no idea how much I care about you, Tommy. I want you so bad. Don’t you want me? This isn’t a game. You have feelings for me. You can’t tell me you don’t. It would be a lie.”

  Tommy took Angel’s hand and pressed it to his cheeks, then held it over his heart and stared down at it.

  “What is it?” Angel asked. “What’s stopping you? I know it’s not Jessi. I know she’s OK with this. I can read people, Tommy. But, you . . . I don’t know. You’re very complex. There are a lot of layers to you that I can’t figure out.”

  Tommy’s heart was racing. It was more than just his marriage he was worried about. It was his feelings for Angel that scared him. “I care about you, Angel, I really do, but . . . I don’t know if I can go through with this. I don’t want to rush into anything. I don’t want to hurt Jessi. I don’t want to hurt you. My head’s in a daze 24/7.” Fight or flight kicked in and Tommy was ready to bolt, before he lost all self control and plundered into the wrong decision. “I’m sorry. I gotta go.” He brushed past Angel and flew out the door.

  For once, Jessi didn’t notice that he was upset. Tommy came home from Angel’s apartment, made up an excuse that he needed to work on something, and went straight upstairs. He came down to get something to drink and, as soon as he opened the refrigerator, the doorbell rang.

  Tommy knew it was Angel, but he couldn’t answer it. He was frozen in place. He couldn’t move. He stood there, motionless, staring at the milk.

  He heard Jessi talking to Angel at the door. He heard Angel’s footsteps approaching, getting louder and closer, until he felt Angel’s presence in the archway to the kitchen. Tommy didn’t turn around. He couldn’t look at Angel. He was too ashamed about the way he ran out of his apartment.

  “You know,” a smile was prevalent in Angel’s voice, “proper etiquette dictates that you greet someone when they enter your home.”

  Tommy laughed, and turned to face Angel with an embarrassed smile.

  “Did you forget something?” Angel held up Tommy’s shopping bags.

  He took them, but remained silent, still unsure of what to say.

  “I wanted to make sure you were alright.” Angel tilted his head down and his eyes searched Tommy’s face.

  “I’m OK.”

  “Really? You don’t look OK. You look all weirded-out. I don’t want things to be uncomfortable between us.”

  “Neither do I.”

  “Look, Tommy. I’ll wait until you make a decision. I know this is hard and you have a lot to lose. You’re worth waiting for, but, I’m not going to wait forever.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Kendall was loud. Angel could hear her clear across The Quadrangle. He was trying to have a conversation with Damien and two fans about the music industry, but her brash voice in the background kept getting in the way. It grated on him like nails on a chalk board. When she wasn’t drunk, she was tolerable, but that was a small window that closed shortly after she made an entrance.

  Angel kept his distance from her. He wanted as little interaction with her as possible. Jessi’s dislike for Kendall provided a much needed buffer, but Jessi wasn’t with him. He scanned the room hoping to spot her. He shared some sort of unspoken telepathy with Jessi. All he had to do was rest his eyes on her, and she would feel the weight of his stare and turn to him. She always recognized his deer-in-the-headlights look and came to his aid. But, he couldn’t find her. She must have gone back to the merch table.

  He could hear Kendall’s voice getting louder, closer, but he refused to look in her direction. He was trying to wrap up his conversation so he could make a hasty exit, but Damien kept dragging him back into it. Angel was desperate. He looked around for those two sweet girls who had a crush on him, Kira and Audra. He couldn’t find them either. They must be outside, because they were never more than four feet away from him. They were like silent bodyguards, watching his every move. Like Jessi, they had an animosity for Kendall and didn’t let her get near him when they were around.

  Kendall’s voice was close, so he started rambling to the two guys he was with. He was totally off topic, but he wanted Kendall to think he was involved in an in-depth conversation.

  He should have known that she wouldn’t care if he was talking to the President. If she wanted you to pay attention to her, she did anything and everything until you noticed her.

  Kendall tried to give him a sloppy kiss, but he turned his face away. Her alcohol-laced lips fell on his cheek.

  “You’re a hard man to get a hol
d of, Angel. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were avoiding me. So how are you? I feel like it’s been forever since we got a chance to talk.”

  “I’m just busy. Working hard on my music.”

  “Let’s do something when your show’s over tonight. Let’s go someplace that’s not as crowded, so we can get some alone time.”

  “Um. No.” Angel fidgeted. “I got to stick around. I got stuff to do.”

  “Yeah,” Damien interrupted. “He’s busy.”

  “Let me help.” Kendall smiled flirtatiously at Angel, and gave a small provocative laugh. “I’ll do anything you say.”

  “No. That’s OK.” He wanted to get away from her. He looked around for Jessi again. “I better get ready for the show.”

  Kendall put her arms around his waist and held him prisoner. “Don’t go. I never get to see you anymore. Not since that stupid girl’s been around.”

  “Stupid?” Now, she struck a nerve. He wasn’t only annoyed, he was irritated. He removed Kendall’s hands from his waist and backed up to create space between them. “If you’re referring to Jessi, she’s anything but stupid. She’s very smart and intuitive. And I don’t appreciate you calling her names.”

  “OK. Don’t get mad.” She smiled at him. “I’m sorry.”

  Kira and Audra came out of nowhere and positioned themselves between him and Kendall, forming a protective barrier.

  “Leave him alone,” Audra told Kendall. “You’re always bothering him.”

  Kira narrowed her eyes. “Go away.”

  Kendall clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and snarled her lip at them, before she turned and walked toward the bar.

  Audra and Kira stood in front of him, with their hands on their hips, until they were sure Kendall wasn’t coming back. They were his posse, and no one was getting past them. Once Kendall was out of sight, they simultaneously turned to him, full of smiles and enthusiasm.

  “I’m so sorry we weren’t’ here sooner. I hope she wasn’t too obnoxious.”